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Pope’s stance on gay priests not related to One Direction, Vatican claims

Harry and the popePope Francis and One Direction’s Harry, yesterday.

Pope Francis shocked the Catholic world yesterday by relaxing the church’s stance on gay priests, a move welcomed by many reformers within the church. Taking an in-flight press conference on his return to Italy after a pilgrimage to Brazil, the first South American pope answered questions on a variety of topics, but it is his seemingly liberal stance on homosexual priests that have surprised hardliners and cheered gay activists.

However, almost immediately the Vatican was having to deny rumours that His Holiness’s opinions on homosexuality were related to his close relationship with Harry Styles of British pop group One Direction.

“The pope and Harry are just good mates,” one Vatican insider claimed. “They are just a couple of guys who enjoy each other’s company. Nothing more than that.”

Rumours surrounding the close bond between the pope and heartthrob Styles, 19, have been rife in recent months, with eyebrows being raised when the pair were spotted wearing each other’s clothes, after repeatedly spending late nights at the Groucho Club in London together.

Teenage girls around the world will be breathing a huge sigh of relief to hear that the hunky 76 year old Pontiff has eyes for God and God alone.

“Rumours like this are just par for the course,” shrugged Pope Francis, or Foxy Frankie as his friends have dubbed him. “Most of the time you can just shrug them off, but sometimes it can hurt those around you. God and I have a great relationship, but when the whispers are persistant, you start to worry that loved ones start to believe them. Or at least you would if God wasn’t omnipotent,” he added in an interview with GQ magazine.

Pope Francis is the first pope in 500 years to show such a relaxed stance on homosexuality, with all of the popes in the intervening years preferring to espouse a hatred of gay people while keeping quiet about the systematic abuse of minors in their care.

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This entry was posted on July 30, 2013 by and tagged , , , , , , .