The Daily Heckled

Imagine that the world was made of blamanche. Nice, isn't it? Hmmm, blamanche. But it's not! This is the news!

Britain on track to hit 100% obesity targets by next election

A gratuitous picture of fat people, yesterday. Downing Street has claimed that the target of a 100% obese Britain is likely to be met by 2015, with reports today showing … Continue reading

February 5, 2014 · Leave a comment

94% of British public have no idea what a ‘think tank’ is, claims government think tank

A think tank, yesterday. A prominent Conservative think tank has today claimed that the vast majority of the British public have absolutely no idea what a think tank does, with … Continue reading

February 4, 2014 · Leave a comment

British media disappointed by less-Foxy Knoxy

A not so Foxy Amanda Knox,  yesterday. Britain’s media organisations have voiced dismay today, after images of Amanda Knox show her to be less attractive than she was seven years … Continue reading

January 31, 2014 · 1 Comment

Bieber assault claims leads to West Bromwich widow winning £127m

A Bieber Bingo card, yesterday. Doris Hymen, a widow from West Bromwich, has scooped the top prize of £127m in the world famous Bieber Bingo game, making her the biggest … Continue reading

January 30, 2014 · Leave a comment

Kim Kardashian being groomed as successor to North Korean dynasty.

The future Supreme Leader of North Korea, yesterday. US intelligence reports have sensationally shown that Kim Jong Un has officially endorsed the celebrity media whore Kim Kardashian to succeed him … Continue reading

January 29, 2014 · 1 Comment

Mystic Mark reads your monthly horroscope

Aquarius – January 20 to Feb. 18 On a visit to your local curry house you see the face of Jesus in a naan bread. Your trip to the Vatican … Continue reading

January 16, 2014 · Leave a comment

UKIP ‘disappointed’ by low level of Romanian immigration

A Romanian staying in Romania, yesterday. Nigel Farage, the leader of the UK Independence Party, has condemned the low numbers of Romanians entering Britain since the lifting of border restrictions … Continue reading

January 15, 2014 · Leave a comment